Christa Vessell, Founder & Chief Mother Lover of Mommish, on burnout, boundaries, and building
something that puts moms first.

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes with being a mother in a culture that still expects you to handle everything, quietly, gracefully, with a hot coffee somehow still in hand. Christa Vessell knows that feeling intimately.

But spend five minutes with her and something shifts. There’s a warmth and a momentum to the way she moves through the world that makes you want to lean in and take notes.

Originally from Redlands, California, Christa now lives by the ocean in Encinitas with her husband and two daughters, Piper, 5, and her youngest, 2½, who Christa describes as a sour patch kid with an apparent death wish and a killer smile. She holds a degree in psychology, spent years in the entertainment industry, and then seven more in commercial real estate, a male-dominated field where mothers of young children were a rare sight. She was closing high-level deals while managing school pick-ups and drop-offs, all while feeling the quiet ache of a life that had no real space just for her.

So, true to her Gemini nature, she did something impulsive and right: she built it herself. Mommish is part community, part celebration, part permission slip, a membership-based platform designed to help moms rediscover who they are outside of the job description. As its Founder and self-titled Chief Mother Lover, Christa has created something that feels less like a brand and more like a deep exhale.

She gets candid about the chaos, the vulnerability she didn’t see coming, and why she’s still a firm believer in a little healthy delusion.

You created Mommish to give moms access to experiences, community, and that rare feeling of being celebrated. What was the moment you realized this needed to exist?

As women we already (IMO) do it all, and do it better, hehe. When I became a mom, somehow I added more responsibilities and titles that I didn’t know existed before. Chef (what,when did that happen?), doctor, packer of all things, mule, therapist, mom, CEO of every f*cking thing,and when your plate gets that full, it’s easy to push what once was a hobby or a passion or even the good ol’ “self-care” to the bottom of the list. I craved having interests again that were just mine, and a space that supported mothers instead of telling us all the things we were doing wrong.

Building a membership-based business means asking women to invest in themselves financially. That’s not always an easy sell in a culture that tells moms to put themselves last. How do you navigate that tension?

This is something we had to think about very carefully. We’re in an age where moms are doing more, getting less, and because of this,showing high levels of depression and burnout. A 2021 Motherly survey reported that 93% of mothers feel burned out, with 16% feeling it constantly. The truth is WE CAN’T DO IT ALL! And I think more and more of us are realizing we don’t want to, either. Investing in yourself not only provides a level of accountability but opens the door to rediscover yourself and what you individually need to help ease the stage of motherhood you’re in. Whether that’s getting a premier discount at your local Pilates or cycling studio or a
discounted rate on wine delivery,these are all forms of self-care, easily accessible and right in your back pocket.

Let’s talk about the word “luxe.” It can feel loaded,like it’s either aspirational or exclusionary. What does luxury actually mean in the context of motherhood for you?

I love this question! Luxe can mean soooo many things. In the language of Mommish, we use the word luxe to highlight something special that’s personal for you! A $10 latte, a moment of peace in a yoga class, a newfound trick or tip you took away from our virtual events. It’s something special,and we all deserve a lil something special. That’s what Mommish is. Something special JUST for the moms.

Community building sounds beautiful in theory, but the reality involves logistics, boundaries, and managing a lot of personalities. What’s one thing about fostering real connection that surprised you?

One of the biggest surprises I was met with when building this community was HOW much there was going on behind the scenes with all of these beautiful women,and you would never know it. We’re so used to just handling it all and putting on a brave face to make it through the day or week. I was surprised at how many of these moms were dealing with heavy issues behind closed doors, and how having this community of moms who, at the base of it all, understood the bottom line: we need each other. No matter your parenting style, the age of your kids, your background,there was a real understanding of needing other female relationships.

You’re running a business while also managing your own life as a mom. How do you protect yourself from becoming a case study in the very burnout you’re trying to help others avoid?

I won’t even lie to you,I’m still working on this. I’m in a stage of life where I’m balancing my little kids, big life transitions, multiple personalities, and a passion I’m eagerly trying to grow. Coffee, sleep, and being outside are major for me. I truly am someone who needs to touch the damn grass.

Motherhood can feel like an all-consuming identity. How do you hold space for the parts of yourself that existed before kids, or the parts that are still emerging?

This is exactly what Mommish is! We are a mom company, but at the very root we are looking to provide a space for moms to come back to themselves and who they are outside of motherhood. My mom started a new career later in life,a new business,and went after her dreams. As a daughter, I couldn’t have been more proud to see her step into a risk that was all hers. Nothing to do with being a mom, all to do with her being an individual and following her dreams. We can be moms and still be exciting, naughty, and ever-evolving, and that’s what makes us beautiful humans.

What’s something you’ve had to unlearn about what it means to “support” other moms? Any assumptions that got challenged along the way?

Support doesn’t always mean giving advice. Even when moms ask questions, they’re not always looking for answers. We sometimes just need to say things out loud, be heard, and be validated. Listening and just “being there” for someone goes a long way. Hey babe, we listen and we don’t judge.

Money talk: what’s one financial reality of entrepreneurship that you wish someone had told you before you started?

You’ll work harder than you ever have on something that’s not guaranteed. It’s risky, and early wins usually don’t show up in your bank account. You either need to be in a position where you can take a loss, or have enough delusion and motivation to keep going until it’s profitable. YAY for delulu.

If you could go back and tell yourself something on the hardest day of building Mommish, what would it be?

Nothing lasts forever, including yucky feelings. I had no idea that in a space where I’m trying to build women up, there would be so many secret haters,people close to me, people I’ve never met. I’ve never really dealt with something like that before. Unfortunately, not everyone wants you to win. I’ve learned to trust my instincts, protect my peace, and keep on keepin’ on!

What does rest look like for you right now? Not the Instagram version,the real one.

Rest for me usually looks like a day in nature, unplugged from my phone and laptop. Or sometimes I get lucky and my husband keeps the girls occupied downstairs so I can sleep in
until 8 a.m., that’s heaven right there.