If your child has heard about ICE raids, seen videos on social media, or noticed their classmates disappearing from school, they already know something is wrong. Even if your family isn’t directly affected, your child is witnessing violence, fear, and injustice—and they’re processing it in real time, often through screens that make everything feel closer and more immediate. The question isn’t whether to talk about it—it’s how.

Since January 2025, immigration enforcement operations have intensified across the United States, with particularly aggressive actions in cities including Minneapolis, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, Portland, and Seattle. Research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that recent raids coincided with a 22 percent increase in daily student absences, with the largest increases among the youngest students. Children are staying home because they’re scared.

But here’s what we know: isolation doesn’t keep kids safer—whether that’s keeping them home from school, limiting their access to information, or pretending everything is fine. What children need is honest information, emotional support, and the reassurance that the adults in their lives are working to protect them and others. They need to know that fear is a normal response to what’s happening, and that there are ways to process that fear without being consumed by it.

This isn’t easy. These conversations require us to acknowledge real dangers while maintaining our children’s sense of security. But parents have always had to explain hard truths to their kids—about death, about injustice, about things that aren’t fair. This is one of those moments.

What Kids Are Actually Hearing (And Why Silence Makes It Worse)

Children are incredibly perceptive. They notice when their friend’s mom doesn’t show up for pickup. They see their parents whispering and turning off the news when they walk into the room. They scroll TikTok and Instagram and see videos of agents in tactical gear.

According to educators interviewed by NPR, children as young as eight are refusing to eat lunch at school because they fear their lunch codes will reveal their location to immigration agents. Kindergarteners have asked their teachers, “Are they coming to take us away?”

When we don’t talk to kids about what’s happening, they fill in the gaps with their own fears—and those fears are often worse than reality. They imagine scenarios we haven’t prepared them for. They carry anxiety alone instead of processing it with trusted adults.

Silence doesn’t protect children. It leaves them vulnerable to misinformation, isolated with their fears, and without the tools to cope.

Start By Asking What They Already Know

Before you explain anything, ask: “What have you heard about what’s been happening?” or “Have you noticed anything different at school lately?”

Listen without interrupting. Kids need to feel heard before they can hear you.

You might be surprised by what they know—or what they think they know. A child might say, “My friend said the police are taking people’s parents away.” Another might say, “I saw a video where someone got hurt.” Or they might say nothing at all, but their body language tells you they’re scared.

School social workers recommend that you validate whatever they’re feeling: “That sounds really scary,” or “It makes sense that you’d be worried about that.” Don’t rush to reassure them or tell them not to worry. Sit with their emotions first.

Then you can provide context.

Age-Appropriate Ways to Explain What’s Happening

The language you use depends on your child’s age and what they can developmentally understand. Here’s a framework:

For young children (ages 5-8):

Keep it simple and focus on what directly affects their world.

A suggestion on what to say: “You might have heard that some families are worried because immigration officers (or ‘ICE’) are asking people about where they’re from. Some people came to the United States from other countries, and the government is making new rules about who can stay. This is making some families scared, and some kids might be worried about their parents.”

A suggestion on what to emphasize: “Your school is a safe place. Your teachers and principal are there to protect you. If you ever feel scared or worried, you can always talk to me, your teacher, or [name another trusted adult].”

A suggestion on what NOT to say: Don’t give details about raids, arrests, or violence unless the child specifically asks and you determine they can handle it. Don’t lie, but you also don’t need to volunteer information that will create nightmares.

For older children (ages 9-12):

They can handle more nuance and are likely already seeing information online.

A suggestion on what to say: “There are immigration enforcement operations happening in some cities where officers are arresting people who came to the United States without legal permission, or whose permission to stay has expired. Some of these operations have been very aggressive, and families are scared. Some parents have been separated from their kids, and that’s really hard and unfair.”

A suggestion on what to emphasize: “What’s happening isn’t right, and a lot of people—including lawyers, teachers, and community organizations—are fighting to protect families. Schools are still safe spaces where immigration officers aren’t allowed to come without special permission.”

Address what they’re seeing online: “You might see videos on social media. Some of them are real, and some might not show the full story. If you see something that scares you, come talk to me about it.”

For teenagers (ages 13+):

They need the truth and the tools to process it critically.

A suggestion on what to say: “Immigration enforcement has escalated significantly. ICE agents have shot at least 27 people since January 2025, with 8 deaths, including U.S. citizens. The administration has removed protections that previously prevented raids in schools, hospitals, and churches. Families are being separated, and communities are living in fear.”

A suggestion on what to emphasize: “This is serious, and it’s okay to feel angry, scared, or helpless. Those are all normal responses to injustice. Here’s what you can do: [discuss age-appropriate actions like supporting classmates, learning about the issue, attending community meetings if they’re interested].”

Be honest about complexity: “Immigration policy is complicated. People have different opinions about what should happen. But regardless of political views, separating families and using violence is wrong. Children should never be used as bait or separated from their parents.”

When Your Family Is Directly Affected

If your family is at risk of immigration enforcement, your conversation looks different. You need to balance honesty with preparation.

A suggestion on what to tell your children: “Our family has a situation where [parent/family member] might be at risk of being stopped by immigration officers. I want you to know what could happen and what our plan is, so you’re not scared and you know what to do.”

Create a family emergency plan:

• Identify who will care for your children if you’re detained
• Make sure your children know trusted adults’ phone numbers by heart
• Keep important documents (birth certificates, custody papers, contact information) in an accessible place
• Teach children their rights (they don’t have to answer questions, they can ask to call a trusted adult)
• Practice what to do if ICE comes to your home (they don’t have to open the door without a warrant)

Organizations like the Immigrant Legal Resource Center provide detailed family preparedness plans in multiple languages.

AA suggestion on how to reassure your children: “We have a plan. There are people who will help us. You are loved and you will be taken care of no matter what happens.”

Don’t promise that nothing will happen if you can’t guarantee that. But do promise that they won’t be alone.

When Your Family Isn’t Directly Affected (But Your Child’s Classmates Are)

If your family is not at risk but your child is witnessing the impact on their community, you have a different responsibility: teaching empathy and allyship without centering your family’s safety.

What to say:

“Some of your friends and their families are going through something really scary right now. Even though our family isn’t at risk, we care about what happens to them. How can we help?”

Age-appropriate ways to support:

• Young children: “Let’s check in with [friend’s name]. Maybe we can share our snacks at lunch or play together at recess so they know they’re not alone.”
  
• Older children: “If you notice a friend is absent a lot or seems worried, you can ask them if they’re okay. Sometimes just knowing someone cares makes a difference.”
  
• Teenagers: “You can support your classmates by being informed, not sharing videos or information that could put families at risk, and speaking up when you hear people saying harmful things about immigrants.”
  

A Suggestion On What NOT to do: Don’t ask children for details about their family’s immigration status. Don’t share information about other families, even with good intentions. Don’t make your child feel responsible for “fixing” the problem.

Addressing School Anxiety

If your child is afraid to go to school, address the fear directly.

A suggestion on what to ask: “What specifically are you worried will happen at school?”

Common fears and responses:

“What if ICE comes to my school?” “Schools are protected spaces. Immigration officers aren’t allowed to enter schools without very specific legal permission, and your principal would not let that happen. Your school’s job is to keep you safe.”

“What if my parent doesn’t pick me up?” “We have a plan for that. [Name backup person] would come get you. Your teacher knows who’s allowed to pick you up. You won’t be left alone.”

“What if my friend disappears?” “If a friend stops coming to school, we can ask their family if there’s anything we can do to help. Sometimes families have to make hard choices, but that doesn’t mean your friend is gone forever.”

For children who have already witnessed a parent or friend being detained:

This is trauma, and it requires professional support. Don’t try to handle this alone.

Teaching Resilience Without Minimizing Fear

It’s tempting to say, “Everything will be okay.” But we can’t promise that, and kids know it.

What we can do is teach them that humans are resilient, that communities take care of each other, and that even in hard times, there are people fighting for what’s right.

Reframe the conversation around agency:

“This is a really hard thing that’s happening. But look at how many people are helping—lawyers who are representing families for free, teachers who are making sure kids feel safe at school, neighbors who are looking out for each other. When bad things happen, good people show up.”

Build their emotional toolkit:

Teach children nervous system regulation techniques that help them manage anxiety:

• Box breathing: Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4. Repeat.
• Butterfly hug: Cross your arms over your chest and tap your shoulders alternately. This bilateral stimulation calms the nervous system.
• Grounding exercises: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.

These aren’t just “coping strategies.” They’re tools that give children a sense of control when the world feels chaotic.

What Schools Can Do (And What to Demand From Them)

Schools play a critical role in supporting children during this crisis. According to IDRA (Intercultural Development Research Association), schools should:

• Issue clear statements that the school is a safe space for all students
• Train staff to recognize and respond to trauma
• Have counselors, social workers, and bilingual liaisons available
• Create emergency plans for students whose parents are detained
• Connect families with legal resources and community organizations
• Never share student information with immigration enforcement without a warrant

If your school isn’t doing these things, you can advocate:

Attend school board meetings. Ask what the district’s policy is on immigration enforcement. Request trauma-informed training for teachers. Demand transparency.

Parents have power. Use it.

Resources for Families

Mental Health Support

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) for mental health support and resources
• Therapy for Latinx: www.therapyforlatinx.com – directory of Spanish-speaking therapists

Legal Resources and Family Preparedness

• Immigrant Legal Resource Center (ILRC): Family preparedness plans in multiple languages
• Immigration Law Help: www.immigrationlawhelp.org – non-profit legal services by state
• National Immigration Law Center (NILC): Know your rights resources in English and Spanish
• United We Dream: www.unitedwedream.org – immigrant youth-led organization with resources and support

For Educators and Schools

• NEA (National Education Association): Resources for educators on supporting students impacted by ICE raids
• IDRA: 10 strategies for schools to support children impacted by ICE raids
• Partnership for Children & Youth: Expanded learning brief on immigration for after-school programs

Community Support

• Friends of Fieldworkers: Provides emergency supplies, food, and support to families affected by raids (primarily California agricultural communities)
• Local mutual aid networks: Search “[your city] + mutual aid + immigration” to find community-organized support
• SchoolHouse Connection: Resources for students experiencing homelessness due to family separation

Advocacy and Action

• ACLU Immigrants’ Rights Project: www.aclu.org/issues/immigrants-rights
• People for the American Way: www.pfaw.org – Fighting for justice, equality, and civil rights protections
• Vera Institute of Justice: Analysis and advocacy on immigration detention and enforcement
• Indivisible – Call Your Senator: Take action to demand accountability and restrictions on ICE funding. Indivisible provides a script and connects you directly to your senator to demand they refuse to vote for any DHS appropriations bill that doesn’t rein in ICE abuses.
• Call your representatives: Find your representatives at www.usa.gov/elected-officials and demand accountability for ICE violence

The Conversations Don’t End

This isn’t a one-time talk. It’s an ongoing conversation that evolves as the situation changes and as your children grow.

Check in regularly: “How are you feeling about everything?” “Have you heard anything new?” “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Watch for signs of anxiety or trauma: changes in sleep, appetite, or behavior; withdrawal from friends; difficulty concentrating; regression to younger behaviors; persistent worry.

And model the behavior you want to see. Let your children see you taking care of yourself, supporting your community, and speaking up for what’s right.

They’re watching how you respond to injustice. They’re learning what it means to be brave, to be compassionate, to show up for others even when it’s hard.

The Truth We Owe Our Children

What’s happening right now is not okay. Families are being torn apart. Children are being traumatized. People are being hurt and killed.

We can’t protect our children from knowing this. But we can protect them from facing it alone.

We can give them language for their fear, tools for their anxiety, and the knowledge that they are not powerless. We can show them that even in the darkest times, people organize, resist, care for each other, and fight for a better world.

That’s the conversation we need to be having.

Not “everything is fine” when it isn’t.

Not “don’t worry” when worry is a rational response to what’s happening.

But “this is hard, and we’re going to get through it together.”

That’s the truth. And our children deserve nothing less.